J is for Jonah

My name is Jonah, and I’d like to set the record straight. I was a paying traveler to Tarshish when we were becalmed. In their superstition, the sailors cast lots, and when that failed to draw a breeze, they cast lots for the crew, and then the passengers. When I belittled their ignorance, they turned against me. “Tell us,” they said, “for whose cause this evil is upon us; what is thine occupation? And whence comest thou? What is thy country? And of what people art thou?” Offended by their presumption and familiarity, I spoke with disdain. “I am an Hebrew; and I fear the LORD, the God of heaven, which hath made the sea and the dry land.” Having heard that I was a Jew, they raised their hands and cast me from the ship.

The part about the fish is true.